What is the #1 communication mistake people make?  

In today’s job market, landing a job takes a lot of networking. The Bay Area in-house job market in particular requires lawyers to come with good reputations, so folks looking need to keep up with their connections and have non-awkward conversations!

I agree with attorney and social media star Jefferson Fisher that the top mistake people make when trying to establish rapport is to talk about themselves. Don’t turn the conversation back on yourself too quickly. He says, “It’s a natural impulse – we want to relate, to show we understand. But what happens is that we hijack the conversation.”

Instead of adding your own thoughts on a topic raised by the other person, ask open-ended questions instead. Jefferson says, “Small talk isn’t about impressing people, it’s about making them feel seen and heard.” The example he gives: “[When] someone says, ‘I just got back from a trip to Italy,’ instead of asking about their experience, we jump in with, ‘Oh, I’ve been to Italy several times, it’s great.’ It’s well-meaning, but it can come across as dismissive. Instead, focus on them. Ask open-ended questions like, ‘That’s wonderful, what was your favorite part?’”

I’ve noticed that in almost any conversation, including interviews, if you’ve noticeably done most of the talking, that’s NOT a good sign! Always actively listen and show curiosity.